2007/11/15

Merging my blogs

Although I didn't often wire my blog, I still have a lot blogs in Blogger, Wordpress.com, or some blog hosting providers in Taiwan. I just want to try those blog systems to find what advantages or disadvantages they have. Finally, I just satisfied the Blogger and Wordpress.com blog services. The reason are Blogger is belong to Google inc. and it will not stop the blog service except Google has gone. Wordpress is the most beautiful blog system so far I think.

I decided to merge all my blogs into two in my 30 years-old birthday. I only keep two blogs. One is here, as you reading here. It keeps my thoughts, or something in my daily life. And I will try to write down something in English, in order to practice my poor English writing skill.

The other is kept in Wordpress.com, 比爾工具箱. It keeps my tech articles or notes there.

Why did I merge those blogs? I think that my thoughts distribute over those blogs. If you only read one of those blogs, you can't understand me all. Because you just see one part about me.

Finally, I extract my professional part into one blog. It can make me focus on tech topic, and keep your eye on the tech issue. But the most important thing is that I should write more blogs for them, or they would be nothing at all.

2008/08/27補充:比爾工具箱又搬家到 blogger 了。

2007/11/13

三十而立

孔子說:「三十而立」。

沒錯,今天是我的三十歲生日。回顧這三十個年頭有做過什麼大事情,能夠讓我三十而立?想想好像沒有什麼成就,但也不盡然,至少一路平安長大,拿取學位,求得一職,不讓父母擔心,現下只剩終身大事還沒完成。

但是,這幾天來我一直在想一個蠻嚴肅,但又必須面對的問題,那就是人死後的意識到底跑到哪裡去了?很奇怪,我也沒有什麼很大的工作壓力,感情順遂,家庭和善,但這個問題如影隨形的趁隙跑進我的腦袋,要求我要好好的想一下,這到底是怎麼回事?人死後的意識跑到哪裡去了,消失了?還是在某個地方以另一種形式存在?我不想訴諸什麼鬼神菩薩,生死輪迴,或是哲學思維,形而上的解釋,這不是我想要的。

有時想到這裡就會有一種,我,怎麼會存在?存在的意義是什麼?甚而再過幾年,怎麼會消失,消失去哪裡的無力感,想著想著想到有點虛脫的感覺。對我來說,這不是憂鬱的前兆,更不會衝動到去做傷害我自己的傻事,我只是好奇這個現象的真實意義,只是這個真實,跳脫宗教,哲學的解釋,就會變得很重,容易被壓得無法喘息。

後來,在某個靈光一閃的情況下,我悟到了一個可以讓我接受的想法。人會消失這樣的事實,我原本看得太嚴重,所以它顯得沈重,執著於"消失不見"的慌亂無助。其實,我落入普羅大眾(我也是普羅大眾之一)的一般想法,總是會擔心現在所擁有的未來會消失,不管是無形還是有形的物品,就會開始擔心害怕;但是我們都忘了,我們還有個"生前"這個事實,是的,應該很少人有想過在戰國時代,還是漢朝,"我"這個意識到底存在在哪裡?這個問題也很有意思;如果存在,那"生前"的"我"到底會在哪裡?如果不存在,那現在的"我"的意識是怎麼發生並存在的?

既然,"生前"的情況已經是這麼複雜難解,那我還擔心什麼"消失"的問題?生前的情況應該和死後的情況相同,而生前已經發生,所以死後也沒什麼好擔心的。所以重點就不再是消失不消失,而是可以留下些什麼。杏林子說:「人生在世,總是可以為後代留下些什麼」。我還想不到,或是還做不到可以留下些什麼,想想,就以這個為目標,繼續努力奮鬥吧。